Tuesday, August 25, 2009

Kill me if you are killed.


"I no longer stay at the bars when closed, I don't over limit my self anymore, the love songs seem to be more sad", that is a song by Spanish singer Joaquin Sabina in which my actual condition can be describe. I have had fun, had enjoyed life, but there is no need to be at bars and cantinas to find some passion, I think. I´m not against that, in fact I push my younger brother to have fun once in a while, and I do that too. But lately it is not the same.

I suppose the same concern can not be shared by the parents of Manuel Chuka and Priscila Ibarra, now that the young couple was killed, victim of this non-sense violence we live here.

14 and 12 years old. Buried together, to symbolized the love they had for each other. At least they died loving, which is more that many could say. When I read the note, and as I am writing this lines, I have to make a deep effort not to cry and scream this impotence I feel. I must remember the people that is close to me, living, to domain this rage that is filling my stomach, my arms, my mouth, my mind, but must be calm because rage is a bad adviser.

I am only thinking on all the things I have lived and they will not. At 14 years must likely I would died in love too. But they would not know what is to leave home to chase a dream, arrived to a strange place without knowing what new things will appear, if they choose the left road or the right road. They never know what is to have a blast party at a bar so good that is hard to close it and leave it to go home, ahh, when we have to make friends with the owners and hostess just to have a little more time in it. I wonder if they would be able to hear that beautiful sound of blues and jazz every time their heart is broken. If they could make that terrible mistake, assume the consequences and move on. At 14 years I was not aware of that freedom. How far would they go to discover that wonderful world of human sexuality? They won't have that joy of hugging their love ones, parents, children, grandchildren and realize in it that there are reasons to live. How are they going to discover the thousand reasons to live if they have been killed?

I wish I could write a long list of all the thing that were taken from them. But I can't, I don't like to cry because I feel vulnerable, and that is a luxury I can't afford right now.

I must do what is right, keep talking. We need to get strong.

I can not be mad just when is someone close to me suffer this, can't imagine this happening to someone I love, friend or family. Many have died, and I have participated on the march and rallies of protest. But seems like all of us have gone to do what is need just to stay alive.

But the deaths haven't stopped. Why? What is the sacred, patriotic or right cause that took their lives?

It is said that we are at war, and that we are wining. Really? It is said that we are wining the war against the Drug Cartels, but that is not a country, nor a man, nor a movement, that is nothing. If they were fighting they could get them if they do their job right. But they don't.

As citizens we are outrage, but then we get use to it. Seen the 10 killing a day as something normal. But it isn't.

Have been called by friends asking me if I knew someone in the list of deaths of today.

List of deaths !?!?!?

Where do we live?

What has been done to this land?

How do we let this to happen?

My solution is still the same, do the right thing:
“Cowardice asks the question, 'Is it safe?' Expediency asks the question, 'Is it politic?' But conscience asks the question, 'Is it right?' And there comes a time when one must take a position that is neither safe, nor politic, nor popular but because conscience tells one it is right.” Martin Luther King Jr.

This is just the beginning of something that neither Victor, not Priscila, not many others will see, because they have been killed, who knows, maybe me neither. It will keep happening if we don't do something.

Every time I am on the streets of this city, I look the people around me, children, young, adult, old...love ones, strangers...and I wonder...Who have to be killed so I can act and do the right thing?

P.D. Sorry, but I am tired or writing and talking about the death...but ignoring this doesn't mean it will stop.

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